mental or physical?

I just got done a pretty intense workout (for me at least) and I'm feeling really out of breath right now. Since Dave and I have been together, I've gained 5 lbs. He likes to eat, I like to eat, and even though we do cook at home a lot, we don't exactly eat the greatest things. I've been pretty unhappy with my body for awhile now, so when I found out I actually gained more weight, it made the crappy day I was already having yesterday even worse. I've said it a hundred times before, but I'm going to get serious about eating right and exercising. I started a food journal and have been pushing myself harder than I ever have when I work out. It's exhausting, but I know if i keep it up it will really pay off. And it's a good stress reliever when I'm having a crap day.

Yesterday started a new quarter for me, which is already stressful in itself. New classes, new teacher expectations, more work, etc. is all pretty stressful. I had a hard time sleeping Sunday night because of it. I got up early so I could get to the school by 7:30 to get my official schedule and talk to my dept. head because he apparently needed to talk to me. I go to get my schedule only to find out that I have an accounting hold and couldn't get it. I had to wait a few minutes for accounting to get there for them to tell me that I'm not enrolled full time so I don't get my financial aid. Considering I'm about to graduate I'm running low on classes to take and have certain requirements. They told me that they could rework the plan, but I'd have a payment in April unless I could take another class. I figured that is what my dept. head needed to talk to me about, so I went upstairs to talk to him and see what we could do.

 I normally absolutely hate talking to this guy. He's not the most charismatic person you'll meet. I usually describe him as a "condescending asshole", but to my surprise he was VERY helpful. He told me that this happens to most people about to graduate because the senior project classes are only 2 credits, but that if I wanted to there was another class I could take on Thursday nights so I could get more credits now and wouldn't have to make a payment. He would talk to financial aid and have them make sure my plan was worked so I could graduate. I decided I could just tell my boss that Thursday nights were also out and it wouldn't be a big deal taking one more class considering I only had like 4 left.  At least that is what I thought. Apparently, even after taking another class this quarter, I still have 6 classes left and won't graduate until December. There's no way i could take 6 classes and work  next quarter. 5 is manageable, but 6 is dreadful. So My graduation is being extended because of one stupid class. I was pretty upset. Dave and I were talking about going to Portugal in September and now it doesn't look like it's going to happen. I felt like crying, yelling, screaming, but I surprisingly kept my cool.

By the time I got everything straightened out, it was after 8, so I hurried to my class to find no one in there. I waited a few minutes, then went back to the offices to ask if the room had been changed. I was told the room hadn't changed and i was the only person taking the class, so just wait a few minutes to see if the teacher shows up because she may be running late. I go back to the room and wait until 8:30. No show. So I go back to the offices to find my dept. head and Jamie, a director of admissions, talking about my class. Apparently they screwed up somehow and the class I was scheduled in for Monday mornings was really Tuesdays from 1-5. I was furious. I had gotten up early, dealt with Tampa traffic, a bunch of financial aid crap, found out I wasn't graduating in September, and now this. I was scheduled to work Tuesday morning so I was going to have to call my boss and tell her I couldn't work because my availability  changed for the third time.  I left that office with my head hung low. I was surprised that I didn't scream at them.

There's a lot I can do to change the way I look and make me feel better about myself. I'm taking that matter in to my own hands by working out and trying to eat better. It's tiring and hard to get motivated certain days, but I know it's what I need to do in order to make myself feel better. I know finishing school will pay off in the end because I will eventually get a job that pays well and will be something that I enjoy doing. But there really isn't anything I can do to change the way my school handles things. When it comes to that, I'm stuck. All I keep thinking about is one stupid class. One class is preventing me from graduating in September. Could I have taken an extra class earlier that would have prevented this from happening? Maybe, but most of the time the classes i need for my program weren't being offered, or if they were two classes were offered the same day and time. I tried the best that I could and now there's there's nothing I can do but ride out another quarter.

I'm both mentally and physically exhausted and I don't know which is worse. I just have to keep my head up and tell myself that this is happening for a reason. I've gotten through much worse in the past and I know I can get through this okay too.